Winnie-the-Pooh was one of my favorite storybook characters growing up.  Throughout college, my husband and friends would have "Story Time," in which my husband would read the tales to us, performing each character's voice and personality with ease and beauty.  This small yellow honey-loving bear and his companions were so important to my relationship to my husband that they were prominently featured at my wedding, from my personalized wedding vows, to the table numbers, to a beautiful towel cake made by my college roommate.  Therefore, I couldn't let today go by without acknowledging National Winnie-The-Pooh Day (January 18th)

A little bit about National Winnie-The-Pooh Day  (from the National Day Calendar)
National Winnie-the-Pooh Day is annually observed on January 18th and commemorates the birthday in 1882 of the author, A. A. Milne.  A. A. Milne brought the adorable, honey-loving bear to life in his stories which also featured his son, Christopher Robin.

Milne's lovable Pooh Bear, as he was fondly called, is a fictional bear inspired by a black bear named Winnie who lived at the London Zoo during World War I.  The author's son, Christopher Robin, would visit the bear often and named his own teddy bear after her and a swan named Pooh.  

This friendship inspired a collection of books starting with Winnie-the-Pooh in 1926.  The books were illustrated by E. H. Shepard.

Milne's stories have been translated into over 50 languages and are considered classic children's stories today.

The beginning of Wedding Season always gets me thinking about anniversaries and the couples I have been honored to marry in previous seasons. (I can't believe in June 2016, I will be wishing a Happy 5th Anniversary to my first couples!)​   There are a lot of people who remember the significance of the First Anniversary; those who remember that the 25th Anniversary is Silver and the 50th is Gold (there have only been a few couples I know who have reached that milestone, my grandparents being one of them).  But, in reality, every day is an anniversary if you are married to the person you love, cherish, honor and support.  Marriage is a celebration of the big moments (the birth of a child; purchasing a home or a new car; finishing your degree), but also the smaller moments (holding hands as you fall asleep at night; a delicious dinner and relaxing moments after a challenging week)

Take time to make each moment an anniversary in your marriage.  In this way, you will strengthen your marriage and help your love carry throughout the seasons, one anniversary after another.

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, but always with the same person"

Speaking of anniversaries, today, May 20th, 2016 is the Eleventh wedding anniversary of my beloved sister, Ericka, and brother-in-law, Steve.  Happiest of Anniversaries to these high school sweethearts, who make everlasting love look effortless.

(By the way, did you know the 11th Anniversary is  Steel?  I certainly didn't.  
Check out this Hallmark link for other Wedding Anniversary symbols and gift ideas.)

So, you just got engaged and everyone is asking the question of the hour, "So when are you getting married?  When is the big day?"  We all know that weddings, whether big or small, take planning (even though I went from engaged to married in 10 short weeks, every single day was full of planning, whether cake tasting, or talking to the DJ, or having a mid-week meeting with the caterer).  Most of the time, if you go to a venue that you both really connect to, their "prime wedding dates" are already taken (sometimes, for the next 2 - 3 years!)  Have you ever considered the opportunities that exist in having a winter wedding?

Just a couple of great reasons to consider a winter wedding:

• You are probably getting a venue at the "off season" rates and discounts from many vendors, which can save you a considerable amount of money.
• You are giving your guests, family, friends, and significant other something to really look forward to in the dark winter months.
• You really have a reason to honeymoon in a warm location!
• The color palette for your flowers, dresses, and decorations are exquisite!
• You won't be battling through massive amounts of wedding traffic during "prime season" in the spring and summer months.

When I think of winter, I think of pine cones, snowflakes, snowmen, cranberries, hot chocolate, candles and fireplaces.  I think of the brightest color palette possible to stand out against a white snowy winter backdrop (evergreen, cranberry red, midnight blue, silver, gold).  Have a hot chocolate bar; have the bridal party engage in a snowball fight for the pictures; include candles and fire for the prettiest glow.  For more ideas, check out this link from Buzzfeed: 42 Lovely Ideas for a Cold-Weather Wedding

How can I best serve you in creating a ceremony for your winter wedding ceremony?

"Cultivate an attitude of gratitude" - have you ever heard that expression?  In the world of 10,000 things, the majority of the time, it is difficult to be grateful.  We don't have the time; we forget and remember later on; it isn't even in our frame of reference.  Those two small words, "Thank You," seem to have vanished from our lexicon, instead being perceived as a snide comment or an aside whenever they are spoken.

Yesterday, I had the good fortune to have some time to myself (I know, rare in this crazy world, right?)  After much debate and consternation over what I would "do" with my time, I decided to change my clothes, take a towel, and head over to our local beach to simply read a book and enjoy my lunch.  It was time to get out of the apartment - the weather was too nice to stay inside (as my grandmother used to admonish us when we wanted to watch TV on a summer day, home from school).  Time for a small road trip.

As I sat by the water, I was able to simply lie out, touching the sand, the earth, and the stones.  I became overwhelmingly grateful for Mother Earth, for holding me and supporting me through all my steps on this journey.  I was grateful for the sun for warming me and allowing me to spend this beautiful day outside (and for the subsequent sunburn in all the spots I missed with the lotion!)  I was thankful for the ability to read, for the amazing nature of my mind to put the letters together, formulate the sounds and the meanings in my head.  I was grateful to my eyes for the ability to see and make out what I was seeing in the book I was grateful for obtaining from the library.  The gratitude spread to the author who came up with the ideas and wrote the book; the publisher and typesetter; those who bound the book and put the pretty jacket on; the truck driver who put it in the stores; the person who delivered it to my local library - the list went on and on, seemingly endless.

There are many couples, particularly here on the Eastern End of Long Island, who have begun opting for beach, vineyard, or farm wedding ceremonies; ceremonies containing more rustic and outdoor elements, those of air, water, sky and earth.  For those couples who want a more personalized touch to their wedding ceremony and are in a “nature-based” frame of mind, the Sand Ceremony is an excellent item to incorporate.  Not only does it allow for each of you, as partners, to add your own individual touch; it also allows you to incorporate your respective families, children from previous marriages, as well as all of the long-standing relationships that have come before you.

The current incarnation of the Sand Ceremony can trace its roots back to the Native American culture, either through Hawaii’s indigenous peoples or Native Americans from the mainland.  Colored sand dyed with various natural elements (i.e. gypsum for blue, ochre for yellow, etc.) was used to create sand paintings part of spiritual healing ceremonies.  In keeping with this tradition, in a “typical” sand ceremony, each member of the couple is asked to choose a color, one that resonates with a personality trait, is a “power color”, or simply their favorite color.  A third color of sand (typically standard beach sand or plain white) is chosen to represent the friends and family of the couple, the “foundation” on which each individual stands.  The officiant (or family member) begins the sand ceremony by pouring the “foundation” sand into a vessel the couple has chosen [I have seen vessels ranging from heart shapes to simple bowls to frames]. The couple then pours their colors of sand on top, creating a unique one-of-a-kind pattern, symbolizing the combining of two lives into one.  Once the sand colors are poured into the Unity Container, the belief is that, as long as it should take for each grain of sand to be extracted from one another and brought back to their separate containers – that is how long you should be together.  The couple, now in a physical representation of the vows they have just spoken, is forever joined and entwined like the grains of sand.

Beautiful, right?

For some more in-depth information on the Unity Sand Ceremony, check out these links.  They will help you begin to think about colors, vessels, ideas, and allow you to make this ancient ritual your own, either as a couple or a family.


SHARON VAZ – UNITY SAND CEREMONY

SANDSATIONAL SPARKLE – CHOOSING YOUR COLORED SAND

KENSINGTON CLASSICS PINTEREST PAGE (Ideas for vessels and colors)

Dun-Dun-Da-Da – “Here Comes the Bride”

Who among us doesn’t know the traditional notes of “The Wedding March” signaling the entrance of the bride, providing the background for her walk down the aisle and the start of the wedding ceremony?  Yes, this music is significant; yes, this music speaks to years of wedded bliss and millions of ceremonies between two beloved parties.  What happens, though, when these dulcet tones don’t speak to YOU and YOUR day of celebration?  What notes can you turn to?

Traditionally, when working on a ceremony, there are 2 to 3 pieces of music you will want to incorporate – the processional (the entrance of the bridal party); the bride’s song; and the recessional.  Some of the questions you may want to ask yourselves when delving into the music realm are as follows:

• Are we looking for more contemporary/popular music or more traditional pieces?
• Do we want music with lyrics, or instrumentals?
• Are we looking for upbeat, catchy music or something more subdued?
• Are there any songs that are important to our relationship and speak to our unique love?
• Will our DJ play the music, or are we having live musicians (strings, piano, etc.)?

Once you have answered any or all of these questions, now it’s time to have some FUN!  Go on to YouTube and type in the names of some wedding songs you have heard.  Listen intently and see yourselves either walking down the aisle or recessing together as husband and wife.  What do you envision?  In some of my previous ceremonies, people have used traditional instrumental pieces (Canon in D, Pachabel’s Canon, The Wedding March from A Midsummer Night’s Dream); a great many have used non-traditional pieces, such as “Somebody’s Getting Married” from The Muppets Take Manhattan, the Theme from the Legend of Zelda, and “The Imperial March” from Star Wars.

When you begin to think about your unique relationship and what you truly want to remember for your special day, the sky’s the limit!  Be creative!  Be yourselves!  Express it in music!

Have you ever had a challenging time in your life?  Have you ever wondered if anything would go right?  I am betting you have.  And I am betting that a small random act of kindness gave you pause, caused you great joy, or even went so far as to completely pull you out of the doldrums.  One of those random acts of kindness happened to me last night.

My best friend and "brother", Matt, moved across the country around this time last year.  His move to L.A. caused me to cry and wonder how I was going to be able to keep in touch with my sounding board, my partner-in-crime, my brother... We have both had our share of challenges (him in moving and learning a whole new way of life; me in starting the LLC, performing weddings, and the day-to-day challenges of ministry).  We have been Skyping every month without fail.  And we were able to reconnect when he was in New York City for the holiday season.  But it just isn't the same - as I am sure you have all experienced.

Then February 2014 hit... many challenges and "bad days" for both of us (him: a break-up, needing to move to another apartment, losing his job and having to look for another.  Me: my car getting into an accident, job challenges, no weddings to speak of, illness)... needless to say, it was a struggle for both of us, without someone right there to hug.

Last night, when I came home from work and my first performance of a show, I found this box from Matt at my door.  A welcome surprise as my first thought was "I didn't order anything."  The card read as follows:

Dear Sis:  All the best to you and Kit.  I know that 2014 has had its ups and downs so far, but as you always tell me: deep breath, listen and all will open up to you.  I love you and am always here.  Happy Katie Fisher Day!  (Albeit a few days late)
Your Second Biggest Fan (behind Kit) - Matt

All I could do was cry.  Random box of beautiful hand-made chocolate whoopie pies from a bakery in Brooklyn (One Girl Cookies) was here, simply to make me smile and make me happy.  To pull me out of my doldrums.  A random act of kindness from 3,000 miles away.

But what was "Katie Fisher Day"?  Looking it up on my favorite reference tool (Google, of course)... I came up with this website.  Katie Fisher was a young lady who, at the age of 24, in 2010 tragically perished in a car accident.  She used to bake cookies for her brother every week for all 4 years that he was in college.  And so, as a memorial to Katie, every year on her birthday (March 12th), they celebrate Katie Fisher Day with the following directions:

So what random acts of kindness can you do for someone you haven't seen in a long time?  Or that person behind you at the coffee shop?  Or a friend who you know is challenged in life?  Someone who is homeless?  Someone who needs a friend, or a hug, or a reminder that everything is o.k.?

We can all perform random acts of kindness.  Let's spread the love like my brother and Katie Fisher did...

Buzzfeed posted 40 of the most awesome signs they guarantee you will want to see and use in your ceremony.  Check them out here.

What awesome signs have you had the pleasure of seeing at weddings?  I would love to see them.  Contact me and let me "read the signs"!

A very dear friend of mine sent me this Spiderman comic today from 
The Religious Affiliation of Comic Book Characters.

It just goes to show you that, no matter how strong or courageous or "perfect" a person may seem, they still question the Divine and his/her plan.

"Choice is a Divine teacher, for when we choose, we learn that nothing is ever put in our path without a reason" ~Iyanla Vanzant